Marriage Advice From The Fishermans Shanty – Marriage Steining Is A Mutually Assured Destruction


I read this a few years back. Is it verifiable?

“I once heard a story of the origin of this toasting tradition, specifically the part where glasses are clinked against each other. As it was explained to me, it began when one Norse tribe (or maybe it was Saxons; I can’t remember) would meet together with neighboring tribes for a great feast. As the meal would commence, the tribal leaders would stand and toast one another. This was no country-club toast. They did not use delicate champagne flutes. They did not use moderation as they struck. Large, chunky steins of ale would crash into one another with impressive force. The goal of this goblet collision was to slosh your vessel’s contents lavishly into your enemy’s stein, and his into yours. It was an illustration of a shared event. It was a mixing of two distinct cultures. The toast was also for protection. It was a guarantee that no one goblet or batch of ale had been poisoned. The sloshing assured that if one was poisoned, all were poisoned, thus creating mutually assured destruction.” (Neighbors and Wise Men: Sacred Encounters in a Portland Pub and Other Unexpected Places. Tony Kriz)

Sloshed and clinked the steins with this one and her family 28 years ago.
And we have been, cross my fingers, living this mutually assured destruction ever since.
I have been working savagely on my fishing gear and boat preps. This will be our last weekend to do much of anything for several months.

The weather has been so cold, rainy, and snowy since we returned from Africa. But I think i have the sweet thing convinced it is possible to de-cocoon now. Hey, de-cocooning a brunette who hates cold, and we live on an island with cold wind blowing steadily, is no small feat.

But the temps will reach a whopping four degrees today, and eight degrees tomorrow, with actual sunshine, so she agreed to go on the motorcycle with me and find a place for a good hike. I like sloshing life with her.

I like to slosh my city girl around on my motorcycle. She humours me from time to time.

I’ve literally sloshed her around on the fishing boat deck in rough seas, as she fished with me for several lobster seasons.

We have had three sons, lived in two provinces and three countries. That was much sloshing, especially since we homeschooled all but four grades of the kids lives because of our crazy lives.

To be honest, I looked around at people in marriages, with kids, but the sloshing of their love steins, and lives, was or is long since over. Once the kids got a little independent or in highschool the steins that were already sitting in the cupboard for years were, or will be tossed out for good.

It’ no lie, i have never felt like that on my part. I had a stein in each hand for her. We have sloshed much life together.

I know why I chose to stein her. I don’t understand why she chooses to stein me. But i happily take every day offered.

“It is not solely an intellectual ascent, though many have made it that. Sadly, you can win a man’s head without his heart. That’s a dead man walking for he has become self-righteous and yet does not really know truth. Information can only tell you about someone, but it is not the same as knowing them: to share experience with them.”  (M. C. Lang. The Bastard Tree. Pg, 106.)

You can win a man or woman’s head without her/his heart. This has to be one of the saddest lines I have ever read. We may have garnered much information about the other over the years, and there will always be parts we can hold up to say, “See, this is why I don’t stein with him or her. See what an ass they are?” My observation tells me the, “Being Ass Quotient”, is equal in both sexes.  Because it’s defined and interpreted through the eyes of the opposite sex. We don’t get to look at ourselves and say… im not an ass. Therefore, no one wins that game…. its not fair in either direction. I don’t  want to live that life nor talk that talk.

Information, knowing facts about the other is not the same thing as experiencing them. Are we steining stumped relationally these days?

My head tells me ill stein if…
I’ll stein with you as long as….
I’ll stein until…..

Others just never really picked up the stein in their head or heart at all… ever.

My Heart tells me to stein with her every freaking chance you get. Take adventures with her/him. When she’s exhausted from the kids or work. Wash the steins. Clean the keg.
On the flip side, we Saxons hate it when women treat or talk about us like one of the kids, and not a stein holding husband. Exhausting all our play on the kids, or work, with rarely a stein held up for the other.

Marriage Advice Tip #3, live from the fishing shanty.

Slosh Steins…….. Never stop steining each other. I don’t care how many kids, hurts, disappointments, disillusionments we have had, or may yet have…. We picked up steins together. Slosh them to our mutual destruction, slosh to us.

Be a good stein slosher.
Not just with our heard, but our heart.

Love To Hear From You

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