Bringing Others To Birth – I Stopped Saving The World

I grew sick of hearing the sound of my own voice.

“They discover that it’s difficult, they don’t know how to relate. They don’t know how to listen…..

They know how to tell people what to do. They are trained in “telling” people. But they’ve not got the idea of listening, and bringing people to birth.”

Jean Vanier

I used to work in a field that required talking. Too much talking. So, I talked too much.

I crafted talks, printed and delivered talks. Because, well, people expected talks. Many people feel they can’t live or grow without talks, from someone trained in “telling”.

Folks got to rate, analyze, or criticize those talks too.

So, I talked….until i got weary of the sound of my own voice. I soon realized that when people keep dependent on another voice, they loose theirs.

Imagine becoming tired of your own voice. I’ve still yet to recover from that period in my life.

Relationships suffer when you talk to much.  I realized i had became relationally disabled.

My wife and I shared this exchange a few years back.

“I was up for hours, working away in the office. I finally walked out to see if Lynn was awake yet. I found her and said,”Good morning”.

“Did you have breakfast yet? Were her first words to me.

“No, I did not have any breakfast, I don’t have time for breakfast, I’m too busy saving the world.”, was my theatrical reply.

To which Lynn gave this long drawn out, and strangely guttural laugh.

At least she offered to make me breakfast.  Sassy girl!

I shut up, for the most part, and mostly shut down my “talks”, and choose a different approach to life.

I shifted my focus from saving the world “telling”,  to, “giving others birth”.

I don’t want to leave a “thing” behind. I want to leave having helped others birth something good in their lives. I may suck at it, but it is how I have been moving forward.

Maybe doing it later in life would make more sense. But my father had bypass surgery and my mom is fighting cancer. My opinion of “later” is jaded. I’m headed for Maine.”

(David Miller. AWOL on The Appalachian Trail)

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