“I don’t want to be friends. I want to kiss your neck”
Sitting here lacing in the webbing on my lobster traps. Wanted to share something I came across a few days ago. It stuck with me. It is not the full story of a healthy marriage. But it possibly is 1/9th of a healthy aspect of marriage.
My wife and I are the best of friends. We chat, and do the majority of things together. I can honestly say there is no one else on this earth i would rather spend the day with than Lynn.
How is it that we vow “Until death do us part” , then 50% of us convince ourselves that my husband or my wife is that “one”? The one no one can get along with. I am fully aware that Lynn could leave me and people will say, “Yes, he is that one, the handful.” I could easily receive the same response if I found a new girlfriend (which i sadly saw was the case with a few friends on FaceBook), and they would justify my reasoning right along with me. We will always find support for anything we do, good or bad, a broken vow or not.
I am not judging. life is hard, working out relationships is hard. I hate it when I see women speaking about men as if they are one of their children. I lose respect for them when I see it. I told Lynn very early on in our marriage that I was her husband, not her child, and not to treat me that way, I will not accept it. She informed me about things too. I have a family member who’s wife treats him like he is an imbecile. She is so controlling, manipulating, and mouthy in their old age that I am convinced it at the stage of husband abuse. I can’t stand her stupidity or to watch her interactions. I would be divorced at 70 if I were in my uncles shoes.
Before Lynn married me, I said that I did not want her in my life to wash my dishes, nor to wash my laundry. All the men in our family (our three grown sons included now), cook, clean, do their own laundry, and dishes. “I am marrying you for companionship.” , i said. To spend time with each other as Priority One! I did not marry Lynn simply to sire children. I was not trapping a lobster like food to feed me.
I think we can all go back and make our husband or wife the attention of our desires and play as friends.
All the years we raised kids together, i let her know she was my friend, as best as I could with the skills and limited understanding I had at the time. She was patient with me. I also let her know she was the focus of my love, friendship, and desire too. She is worth it, deserves it.
So what is my Tip from the fisherman’s shanty today? TIP #9
Go find your partner right now and tell them, email, or text if they are at work, and tell the, this truth.
I want to be your best friend, I want you to be my friend again.
Then give them some silence, walk away, let it sink in for half a day. They will wonder what is going on. A few hours of silence to percolate those words. Ten, go find them again, (text or email again). Begin with an apology.
“I apologize. I only told you have the story last time. “I don’t want to be friends. I want to kiss your neck”
We are friends and lovers. You can have the focus of my time and desire, whenever you would like it.
Oh, you can’t force anyone into friendship, or to be and lovers again. Befriend and them, and kiss their neck anyway, whenever the door of possibility is open. Then, maybe, just maybe we can make it “until death do us part.”